The Way It Is

...Spoke too soon. Here I go again (Hey! That's an 80's song too!!) still clinging to my era of choice. Can't seem to fast forward myself to the future (or present time, if you prefer).

My second-born is showing signs of recovery. However, my first-born's temperature remained on the high side. So Laukong brought him to the clinic again. Got a shocking update when I got home from work that he was given cold shower at the clinic! WTF! I was so shocked that the thought was almost laughable (I think at one point I did burst out laughing save for the missing punchline).

Started the first of my 3-day workshop today. Content-wise the workshop was very good. However, my (immediate) teammates remains a rather dodgy topic. I'm sure there's something funny going on. But I really can't be arsed to think about it at the moment. So I shan't indulge you with my thoughts on this for the moment. To be honest, I'm not sure what to make of all this. My experience through our daily interactions so far have been cases of "hits or misses". So it's rather difficult to anticipate or predict what these people are thinking (or saying about me behind my back, if I'm honest).

For now that's just the way it is...

"Standing in line marking time
Waiting for the welfare dime
'Cause they can't find a job
The man in the silk suit hurries by
As he catches the poor old ladies' eyes
Just for fun he says "get a job"

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
Aw, but don't you believe them

They say hey little boy you can't go
Where the others go
'Cause you don't look like they do
Said hey old man how can you stand
To think that way
Did you really think about it
Before you made the rules
He said, Son

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
Aw, but don't you believe them

Well they passed a law in '64
To give those who ain't got a little more
But it only goes so far
Because the law don't change another's mind
When all it sees at the hiring time
Is the line on the color bar"

~ The Way It Is

The End of the Innocence

Today marks the end of my 80's hits theme for my blog.

Am contemplating whether I should extend it. But decided nah!

However there's no stopping me from making reference to the 80's again some time in the (very near, I'm sure) future. I don't know why, but there is something about the 80's, in musical terms, I mean. I am practically stuck in a time-warp when it comes to music. Why don't people make songs like they used to before?

Today remains the end of an era - a glorious one at that. But we can also count our blessings for the end of the "bad hair-day" era also. Good riddance to hairspray and shoulder pads, I say.

"Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standin' by
But "happily ever after" fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly

But I know a place where we can go
That's still untouched by men
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

O' beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They're beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details
Since daddy had to lie

But I know a place where we can go
And wash away this sin
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair spill all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

Who knows how long this will last
Now we've come so far, so fast
But, somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us
I need to remember this
So baby give me just one kiss
And let me take a long last look
Before we say goodbye

Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence"

~ The End of the Innocence

Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

My second born started to have runny nose also. But my first born seems to be on the road to recovery. At least he is eating, which is more than I can say for his eating habit for the past few weeks.

Made breakfast for the family, which is as "domesticated goddess" as I'll ever get. Then read a virtual Sesame Street book on the Internet with my first born. We found a story about Elmo going to the doctor's, which cheered up my son immensely. So we talked about his own experience of going to the doctor's yesterday. I reckon he thinks he's "one-upped" Elmo because he got to ride on an ambulance.

The rest of the day was spent indoors - well, the kids played outside for a bit with "Laukong". I decided to stay indoors out of laziness which seems to be my theme of the day.

"Welcome to where time stands still
no one leaves and no one will
Moon is full, never seems to change
just labeled mentally deranged
Dream the same thing every night
I see our freedom in my sight
No locked doors, No windows barred
No things to make my brain seem scarred

Sleep my friend and you will see
that dream is my reality
They keep me locked up in this cage
can't they see it's why my brain says Rage

Sanitarium, leave me be
Sanitarium, just leave me alone

Build my fear of what's out there
and cannot breathe the open air
Whisper things into my brain
assuring me that I'm insane
They think our heads are in their hands
but violent use brings violent plans
Keep him tied, it makes him well
he's getting better, can't you tell?

No more can they keep us in
Listen, damn it, we will win
They see it right, they see it well
but they think this saves us from our hell

Sanitarium, leave me be
Sanitarium, just leave me alone
Sanitarium, just leave me alone

Fear of living on
natives getting restless now
Mutiny in the air
got some death to do
Mirror stares back hard
Kill, it's such a friendly word
seems the only way
for reaching out again.

~ Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

Doctor! Doctor!

I'm afraid this will be another blog entry in "retrospective" of yesterday. But being one that does not like to dwell on the pass too much, I will just share with you the highlights.

Had some guests come over for a change. It was a nice change. The wife is a fellow Bruneian. They've just arrived here this week.

By afternoon my first born had a temperature. He was coughing and had runny nose since the night before. So we decided to bring him to the hospital. But due to the travel restrictions, there was no way we could drive him to the hospital ourselves. So much to my son's delight inspite of his fever, we had to call the ambulance.

We were at the hospital for least 3 hours, albeit unnecessarily. He had to have his blood sample taken to ensure it was not malaria. Thank God it was not.

"Laukong's" friend came over for dinner. I think that's our social scene sorted for the rest of the year. 2 groups of guests in one day. Staying at home for the rest of the night means we missed the "Bollywood Hollywood" event. Although I'm not sure we'd be missing much.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

Friday at last! I thought you'd never come! I had a business lunch today by means of invitation from my Legal portfolio. I've never been surrounded by so many lawyers in my life. Unfortunately it was too short. Just when food was served, I had to run off and catch the bus back to the office. So ended up having my lunch packed. Never a dull moment here in Nigeria, like I always tell you.

I managed to get myself nominated to the workshop mentioned previously. The circumstances behind why I was not nominated in the first place is still a mystery. Though I'm not one to start conspiracy theories, I'm inclined to think there's something completely whack about this.

Otherwise, work today was rather pleasantly uneventful which is always a good start to wind down for the weekend.

Weekend starts, as always, with my weekly dose of Kept followed by Survivor South Africa and Africa. Slavco got sent home today. So 2 "divas" are out for 2 weeks in a row. I honestly thought that Jon might get the boot this week. I was not that impressed with his "hosting" abilities, if you can call it that. I was shocked that Gary Rhodes is capable of being such a "meanie". It looked like Hell's Kitchen.

Anyway, I'm tired now. And uninspired. It's been a hard week. Tomorrow will be a brand new spanking day, I hope.

Money, Money, Money

I almost had another bad day today - well it seemed to be on it's way there again this morning. I started off working on some data that needed to be submitted latest today. So as I was almost finished, the PC suddenly switched-off. We had a power-cut. I should have:

• Guessed this was coming when I noticed the air-con had switched off a few minutes earlier (later I discovered from "laukong" that normally when there's power-cut, all PC's had a lag time of 10 mins so people have time to save their work. Apparently not this idiot.).
• Saved the work I was doing every 2 mins like every other paranoid office Dilbert (trust me when I say I normally do this, but somehow today, by means of sod's law, I didn't).

The power-cut lasted over an hour. By which time not only had I got to know one of my colleagues better, it was time to run off to catch the lunchtime bus. And so my work for the afternoon was all cut out for me. As I suspected, the so-called auto-recovery system did not work. I had to re-do everything that I did in the morning.

After work we had a security briefing in camp. It was the usual dreary story about how they don't foresee the security situation improving anytime soon, possibly until after elections. Not to be outdone, the Q&A session as usual was inundated with "concerns" raised by the (non-working - I realise I'm treading on thin ice here) spouse community. I shall not diverge into the details, but the kind of "issues" that were brought up just puts me to shame.

A notable mention goes to this one lady who should have come with a disclaimer as her views were soooooo not representative of us ladies. Of course, I could be accused of being bias, because she's in my K.I.V. file for being a real cow (uncannily she resembles one too). I'm not normally this mean about people, but she managed to piss me off during one of the rare occasions I was able to do the school runs. I was sitting around with all the other mums waiting for the school door to open. She started introducing herslf to literally ALL the mums except for yours truly. I must have had a tickertape on my forehead to warn her not to come near me. Or perchance I was not white enough for her fat arse? Which would be very strange indeed as she's not exactly white either. Come to think of it, what the hell is she? She reminds me so much of people in Dubai - but that's another story.

Anyway, to tie in to the title du jor with today's events - in recogntion of the drastic change in lifestyle that us poor, little EXPATs have had to endure for the past few months and many, many more months (possibly a year) to come, our allowance has been increased! Hooray! But euphoria aside, let's not also forget that no money in the world can ever be in place of security and safety. So let's also count our blessings as well as pray for the safety of our future.

"I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay

Ain't it sad

And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me

That's too bad

In my dreams I have a plan

If I got me a wealthy man

I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball..."

~ Money, Money, Money

The Sun Always Shines on TV

I had such a bad, bad, bad day today.

1) It started off with heavy rain. One of the heaviest I've seen since arriving here. The full blown thunder and lightening effect included.

2) Almost missed the bus because my driver was late. So "laukong" had to send me to the bus pick-up point.

3) Onboarded another EXPAT first thing in the morning. After he left, our manager asked who he was. Then I told him that so far so good, except for one issue (boy, did I pay handsomely for opening my mouth). The guy is currently staying at the company guest house in 2 separate rooms from his family. So I told him this was not practical for a family with very young children. So the manager asked what salary group he is in. And by this time his voice had raised by a few decibels enough to wake the dead in Ghana and Gabon. Then almost shouting (or maybe he already was, but I was too paralysed and mortified to notice at this point), he said well he's not entitled for a small temporary house since those houses are meant for managers and others of immortal status. Me as an HR person should know about this "policy"!? WTF!?

4) In the bus on the way home for lunch, a fellow EXPAT colleague asked me if I was going to this HR workshop that is scheduled next week. Obviously I've not heard. So he offered to come to his office to check for more details after lunch. Turns out from the particpants list, that ALL my immediate colleagues have been nominated to go except for...yours truly.

Well, I'm inclined to think that there must be some reasonable expalnation to this. Or perchance I've been forgotten? Since I had a meeting almost immediately after lunch, I only managed to e-mail my boss about the possibility of him nominating me. By the time I came back from my meeting, no response of my e-mail. By now it was already late in the day for me to start a conversation. Also as you will see below, this would be the least of my worries. TRUST ME.

5) With the promotion process almost coming to a close for those in managerial positions, I handed over my portfolio's submission to my colleague who collates all forms. Then she told me that it's ok for me to go to our manager (yes, this is the same manager in item 1) direct for him to sign the papers off.

Naively (again - I have to be more vigilant than this next time. My memory seems to have failed me.) I went to his office thinking all would be a breeze. Another hard lesson awaits me:
First thing he said was that my submission was late (he might possibly have been shouting already - again my memory has failed me).

> The deadline was closed last week! (Oh no, here we go again.)

> Why was it late? (The trap has been set.)

> Did your boss not tell you when the deadline was? (I'm falling.)

> Where is he? (So close yet so far away.)

> Let's go and see him now! (I can start to see my life flash before me.)

> He should be advising his staff and coaching them! (Are you there, God?)

Suddenly the penny dropped and I decided, "No, today is not a good day to die." So I told him that it was not necessary to go outside and confront my boss (I'd like to think that Mr. Manager here had enough feeding for the day to tide him over until after winter and hibernation). I knew the deadline and it was the customers that were late with their submissions. Absolutely nothing to do with my boss.

Managed to calm him down somewhat and (at great risk- and foolishness, now that I think about it) told him that I am now beginning to dread coming in to see him(!!). (I must say - there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity). Much to my surprise (and quite possibly the Grim Reaper's), he told me that I should not feel that way. I should know that I am always welcome to come and speak to him. The more I see him, the less I should be dreading him. SAYS HE. I imagined in my head (had to bite my tongue while thinking this) the perfect retort would have been, "That's alll!"

6) Just before logging-off, I saw an e-mail from Russia about one of their staff coming to work here. By the amount of BOLD fonts in her e-mail it was really the icing on the cake that I needed to end my day. Unfortunately it far too late for me to retaliate lest I missed the bus home. I forgot (must get my memory upgraded soon) how rather "brusque" (to put it nicely) the Russians can be. I should have known better and this shouldn't have come as a surprise to me. 2 years working in Dubai supporting them virtually in Russia has done nothing for me apparently. But I was certainly caught off-guard. So spent the entire bus journey home mentally drafting my response (while being poked at the ribs by this super horizontally-challenged American lady who didn't even have the courtesy to acknowledge my presence - I certainly "felt" hers. I didn't realised that such people are capable of having such bony elbows). Of course as my luck would have it, the traffic jam was worse than usual. So by the time we reached the housing camp I was almost ready to jump out the window from claustrophobia.

Item 6 I expect will...to be continued...after I send my response tomorrow.

Alas, positivity and humour (+ tons of nicotine) remains my anchors to get me through another day in paradise.

"I reached inside myself and found
Nothing there to ease the
Pressure of
my ever worrying mind
All my powers waste away
I fear the crazed and
lonely
Looks the mirror's sending me these days...

...Please don't
ask me to defend
The shameful lowlands of the way I'm drifting
Gloomily
through time
I reached inside myself today
Thinking there's got to be
some way
To keep my troubles distant..."

~ The Sun Always Shines on TV

Buffalo Stance

For lunch the cook served me rice and some beef stew. For once the beef was as per the standard texture that I've been used to before coming to Nigeria. The last time she served beef, my jaw ached for days. She may as well have served the beef with the cow's teeth, so I can use them once all my teeth have fallen off as a result. I've got a feeling that people just don't eat cow or cattle meat here. They probably eat buffalo.

Speaking of buffalo (ox to connect to where I'm gettng at), I just saw in someone's blog a really cute cartoon that has the following quote: "I am not stubborn. I am merely correct". That is just so true. If only you can convince the whole world that. It's like I have this saying when the whole world seems to piss me off, "Aku saja yang pandai di dunia ani" (I am the only smart person in this world).

Anyway, I digress.

"That's the girls on the block with their nasty curls,
Wearing padded bras,
Sucking beer through straws,
Dropping down the draws,
Where did you
get yours?"

~ Buffalo Stance

Introspective

I've decided that this week's entries will have titles of 80's hits/albums that reflect my day. Unfortunately I have missed yesterday. So this will be in place of Monday.

I was having a discussion the other day with "laukong" dearest about how people here in Nigeria seem to use big words in everyday life. Example: "genesis" in place of background; "harmonise" = synergise; you get my drift. It gives me great pride to say that I have just sent an e-mail to someone using one of these "big" words. Another point for me for assimilating into the community. The word in question is "retrospective". You shall be paid your new salary in the November payroll in retrospective. Wow! viz-a-viz (another "big" word!)... this blog entry is written in retrospective of yesterday's. Hah! I'm so on a roll here!

Sesame Street was brought to you by the word "retrospective". I rest my case.