Pardon me, I need to save myself

As you can probably guess from the previous few entries that depression has reared its ugly head. Yes, you've sussed me. I cannot express enough how horrible things are at the moment. I have never ever felt so helpless in my life. Normally, I'm the resourceful type. When things don't seem to be going as planned, I always, always, always find a way or someone to help with the issues.

I hate the way things are at the moment. NOTHING seems to be moving. I am home sick. I hate my boss. I hate my job. I hate everyone and everything around me. I hate being here. I can no longer think of positive things. I'm having a REALLY hard time trying to find anything nice about this God-forsaken country. I just wish I could get out of here soon, before my dislike of this place turns to hatred. I want to leave while I still have happy memories of living here.

I've never felt so low in my life! The last time I was this rock-bottom was.......NEVER!! I don't remember things ever going this bad in either my career nor personal life.

Don't say I don't try though. Heck, you can't fault me for lack of trying in the efforts department. However, no one seems to be getting back to me with any sort of decision. I'm just so pissed that people left, right and fuckng centre are avoiding me. It seems everyone's response is on a tape-loop. Same all, same all elusive response that doesn't tell you anything.

BASTARDS!!


Picture credit: "Pardon me, I need to save myself" by sam brown, explodingdog